


hatred

by mooncastsaveil



Series: bocca della verità [1]
Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Character Study, F/M, Gen, No beta we die like lilith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:33:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mooncastsaveil/pseuds/mooncastsaveil
Summary: Forgive him, the six Sins crooned. He apologized!But Yuzuru never forgives and never forgets. She simply cannot.OrPost Lesson 16 thoughts of my MC (Yuzuru) and the complicated bond that she forges with Belphegor. This is a character exploration/glimpse into her thinking process that's like a 180 of the way she acts around him and everyone else.
Relationships: Belphegor & Main Character (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!), Belphegor (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!) & Original Character(s), sort of... it's complicated
Series: bocca della verità [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2172036
Kudos: 16





	hatred

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting here on AO3! I hope you all find this little fic interesting :) 
> 
> I do want to put up a sort of warning that my fic(s) don't take place in the "canon" obey me universe, but one that mostly follows the game but with a bunch of headcanons on lore and other things, so the characterization of the demon bros may be different than the ones we're used to.

Yuzuru has not called Belphegor 'Belphie' even once.

She was not so close to him that she could call him by the name his brothers – his family - used, no matter how often he curled up next to her, no matter how docile he behaved, no matter how many dreamy smiles he sent her way.

｢ It’s all an act. You can never trust a demon. ｣

She was not so angelic so as to forgive him for cracking open her skull, crushing her windpipe and then gleefully laughing at her dying body, as if it was fun to murder the one who, despite her self-preservation instincts, decided to help him reunite and make amends with everyone.

｢ Why did you even agree to help in the first place? ｣

Because Belphegor was a master of lies. She was manipulated. And because she, too, understood the importance of family. And because she wanted to be kind.

｢ To a demon! ｣

 _Forgive him_ , the six Sins crooned. _He apologized!_

Yuzuru never forgives and never forgets. She simply cannot.

She still remembers that girl who stole her marker in the first grade. Bold-faced, sitting right next to her, and then pretending she didn't know where it went. Yuzuru spent her birthday money on that marker. It was so expensive.

She remembers a couple of girls in her fifth grade class pouring water on her seat as soon as she left to grab a textbook, their backs straight as a rod when she came back with tissues in her hands. She made a big show of wiping the seat off and the girls stopped messing with her after that, her reactions too boring.

She remembers one of the more popular girls in her seventh grade class making fun of the shape of her eyes to her friends. Oh, but your nose is very cute! She giggled, without a drop of malice in her voice. Like a button! Everyone laughed. Yuzuru smiled and thanked her.

She remembers that time in twelfth grade when the leader of their group project shifted the blame of their stagnating summative - her own incompetence - onto Yuzuru because she was always the bigger person. I’m tired, she thought, as she completed the work by herself.

That girl from university, the one who was absent from every lecture and who pestered her for her notes every week, yet never shared her own. Cloyingly sweet and apologetic; she was sick, having a bad day, was working a shift. Yuzuru remembers her, and her blocked phone number, + 1 (613) *** ****.

And her broken body in the hands of a shaking Mammon. Skin turning blue, completely limp, small when cradled like that. Weak, so easily destroyed. Don’t blame me for tricking you, blame yourself for falling for it. Yes, she remembers that, too.

She wants to forget all of this. If she can't forgive, at the very least, she wants to forget.

But she can’t.

Fists clenched so hard that nails draw blood. Like an ache that just won’t go away. Fire blooming in her chest, held back by the thin crescent moons of her eyes.

All she can do is move forward, stubbornly ignoring how she feels. _These emotions, they’re all ugly, useless, and disgusting, push them all down down down, just keep moving forward!_ Pickling the memories in salt, letting them marinate, tasting her acrid thoughts. They settle in somewhere at the back of her mind, in the deepest crevices of her bones. _I am not an angel. Stop calling me that. I am not Lilith!_ she wants to snap at the brothers who praise her pyritic intentions. _Not with my bitter heart._

Alas, Yuzuru was always the bigger person. So, she clenched her teeth, smiled, and accepted Belphegor's presence glued to her side, the cascade of his messages, the way his glittering eyes bored at her from the curtain of his hair in class, his apology, his pact. It seared seamlessly into her very soul – why wasn’t there any resistance? - and he purred out that she had the highest affinity with his sin, wasn't that so wonderful?

_Like it was destiny._

｢ What a joke! ｣

 _After that, certainly she has forgiven him? Certainly, all was forgotten?_ the seven Sins stared at her expectedly.

And what could a human do but dance and sing to their scripted tune?

 _‘Belphegor’ was too distant. They were close now, weren’t they?_ Sloth blinked in a disarming way at her, but the shine of his jewelled eyes was dangerous. She could see her reflection fighting back the twitch in her facial muscles as his arm snaked its way across her shoulders. _He forbids her from using his full name._

 _‘Bel’_ , she said. Something exclusive, just for the two of them and no one else. That was _close_ enough, wasn’t it? He's not _lonely_ anymore, is he? A nickname that shows just how special he was to her. A nickname that wouldn’t betray just how much she hated him.

He grinned at that, teeth too full of fangs that could tear tender flesh, laughter clear and warm. _That was perfect_.

_Belphegor opened up his arms for a hug._

And Yuzuru accepted it once again, as if she ever had a choice.


End file.
